55-year-old Fiona* came to the Domestic Violence Support Center (DVSC) after 30 years of an abusive relationship with a man she had known all her life. Fiona initially expressed a great deal of reticence about coming to counseling, both because of cultural taboos around sharing her ‘business’ outside her family, and fear of addressing the extensive trauma she had endured.
Fiona and her DVSC counselor were able to construct initial treatment goals focusing on self-care and strategies for improving Fiona’s emotion regulation skills. They agreed to hold off on delving deeply into the details of Fiona’s abuse. Over time, with improved self-care and increased ability to self-soothe, Fiona felt more able to begin discussing her trauma history.
Using this approach gave Fiona time to develop rapport with her counselor, so it didn’t feel like she was sharing information with a stranger. Working collaboratively with clients to meet them where they are is a hallmark of the work counselors at the DVSC do every day. It is an integral part of helping clients to regain a sense of control and self-determination.
*Name has been changed.